For the very first time this girl went to her dream city, New York. I never thought the day would come where I would fly out there. I've watched all the movies and shows about New York it literally was a dream come true. The Lord definitely provided. A couple months before my friend and I finalized the New York trip, I've been worried and shaken about life. (That seems to happen a lot) I felt like I was in cycle of depression I couldn't find myself out of it no matter how many times I thought I had complete faith in God. I had a huge conversation with my friend Omelia about my depression and anxiety. That conversation wasn't even on the agenda of conversations. I didn't want to admit that I was struggling with anything. I didn't want to look like I was always complaining because I was never satisfied with where I am in life. All in all I was just discouraged because I didn't know if I was glorifying the Lord the way that I should. I stopped reading at one point. I also stopped talking to my church family. Even though I was there I wasn't really there. My mind was always wondering but I was always convicted from not trusting God enough. I wanted to be numb because I was tired of feeling lost.
One thing that she told me was how sometimes the biggest question I can ask God is for strength to admit I need help. Sometimes it requires strength to even pray. I needed more help with getting up and walking than the actual direction of where to go. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders the moment she said that. I finally had the courage to ask for comfort and grace to move even in the slightest way. Next thing I knew God woke me up the next day, ready. Ready for the world. I started working out, fixed my resume . . . started to fix my life. It wasn't a huge change it was a small change that made a actual impact. I'm going to move back with my parents in about two weeks. Never thought I would do that again. I think it's God's way of saying that I've been away long enough and I need to be a light to my family now.
About New York. . . I know it's the title of this blog but it's all adding up to this point here. Flying to New York is almost the best thing that has ever happened to me so far. It was always a dream of mine to visit and also to live there. But more on that later. I felt so at home and peaceful even though it's not a peaceful city it was peaceful none the less. God's timing is perfect and I tend to forget that. I forget that God is sovereign. I forget God cares and loves His children. The trip couldn't be anymore perfect. Not because of the sights but how God is not limited by anyone or anything. From this trip I've learned how he takes care of his children and blesses them. It takes a lot of strength to move forward. Even more strength to admit failure and you're needed of a savior.
