My church Crossview disbanded last month on October 31, 2014. Man, months and months before that I was upset, angry, confused and felt abandoned. I struggled so much to find a family church ever since I moved from Riverside, (almost 3 years ago) to see my church family disband in 4 months. Ever since then, I was angry. I couldn't tell my pastor and his wife that I was angry. I loved them so much I just kept it to myself. It wasn't going to change anything either way. But during my time apart from my church family, I just miss them now. The fellowship, blessings, and everything that I've learned about being a family it was with them.
Not realizing that I've been neglecting my own family, I just went on being sorry for myself. I lost sight if God because I was too angry with Him. I didn't trust Him. I was drowning in my sin. During this week, my sister in Christ texted me and made sure if I was okay. God blessed me because He used Christian to show me the light again.
Today (Sunday) I thought I was going to help my dad move things out of our storage space back in Moreno Valley. Turns out we woke up late and stayed home. Later that day my mom for everyone to get ready for church. See my family are Catholics. I'm a Christian. In case you didn't know that. The last time when she told everyone to get ready she was really upset that I didn't go with them. I had to explain that I don't feel comfortable going to a Catholic Mass. This time she respected my decision to go. But I end up going because they wanted to hang after.
I have nothing against the Catholic Church okay. I mean I was raised Catholic it's just I never learned anything. I learned prayers and what not that had nothing to do with my relationship with the Lord. As I sit there and to at least hear some truth, all I heard was how a couple dedicated their lives in taking care of the church. How they spent years of their time in church and why. But not one did I hear because God called them to. They were so proud of being involved in the church the gospel wasn't even explained. I keep looking at my mom and I'm just upset. They don't know Christ at all because every time I go to a mass all I see is how people are involved because it's good.
I'm upset because I finally have a conversation with my brother and I asked him, "How do you know that you're going to heaven?" He said "because I'm good and I accept God." I tried to explaining how being Catholic is different from being Christian. But the thing is, he doesn't even see how Catholics work. You don't just show up to church and say you're saved.
I have to get my family out of their church. Honestly, they haven't learned anything. They don't know God. My relationship with my parents are going well. I honestly believe that God is telling me to speak the Gospel to them. I need to be a light to them. I have to try.
God presents himself all the time. You just have to let go of your pride and burdens and just trust Him. I couldn't let change go. I couldn't accept change and moving forward. It's scary! Trust in the Lord. He is in control.
No comments:
Post a Comment