Looking through my Facebook, I see a lot of my old high school friends graduating from college. The only thing I can think about is how hard I worked to get where I am. The very fact that I worked so hard, I still feel like I'm in the exact same place. Is there something wrong with me? I keep telling myself that I trust in God with his plan. But I feel like I'm falling behind. All my life I was taught that I have to be on top of everything. That I have to be someone in life.
To be really honest I'm okay with where I am. No, I don't have a degree that can give me a job where I can get six figures. No, I don't drive. No, I don't know how to do things on my own.
I have God with me.
He's given me a man who can help me learn.
A mother to keep fighting.
a path worth taking and learning.
I just need to accept that. My human mind prevents me from turning to God's plan.
I now live with my mother again. And all could think of is how did I let this happen. The more I try to get away from some situations I have to come back. I've been feeling like a failure because I had to go back to my mother. But it doesn't have to be like that. I'm my worst enemy and all I want to do is change. I want to be better. The only way to be better is to really follow Christ. I'm not really sure how but I'm going to have to start somehow.
For last few weeks I've been fighting and searching for ways to get a job. It's going to happen soon enough. The one thing I have to do is not be afraid to make calls and make moves. I can't go anywhere if I just sit there. Another thing I know I have to do is don't expect things to happen. My expectations are selfish and it's not about me. God has my back and I need to trust him more
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